Photo Difficulty

I brought along my inebriate friend, Vee, yesterday to take photos of me hanging by the balls. Big mistake. She was so sozzled that she couldn't even hold the camera properly; she staggered and fell to the ground!

I have a problem taking good photos. My camera has a self-timer, but it still needs to be at arm's length so it's impossible to get a full body pic. Nevertheless, I'll try again myself.

I'd prefer a female who's into low-hangers to take the photos; or an adult magazine. I'm open to offers...