The Hangman's Tools
OK, so here's the complex technical bit. I know it's sophisticated and terribly expensive but, hey! It's worth it for low-hangers that cover your arse-hole.
Note the quality of the rope; the complicated knot; the snooker baize. Wow!
As if you didn't know, I'm being sarcastic. I wish I had the technical know-how to engineer the likes of what Habakuk has done; the way his set-up spreads the weight evenly. I'm no engineer or plumber.
I did the longest time hanging by the balls 10 minutes ago: almost 90 seconds.